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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in ...we live by passion and not by law...'s LiveJournal:

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Sunday, July 24th, 2005
10:29 pm
I've Moved...
Hello livejournalers... I, Ana, regret to inform you that I am no longer really into livejournal and have, yes, become a MySpacer... So if you too have MySpace, you can add me...

http://www.myspace.com/itfeelsgood2bagangsta

I apologize all my livejournal friends... I apologize...

:(
Saturday, May 14th, 2005
3:12 pm
I wonder if her crotch snores when she sleeps...

Just a guess...

<3bananastasia<3

Current Mood: giddy
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
11:54 pm
You never call, you never write...

CIVILIZATION!!! I have been hulled up in a house doing NOTHING for like, the past 2 months... There's absolutely NOTHING exciting that happens in my life and our internet SUCKS... Chances are that 1/3 of the way through typing this the internet will disconnect and I'll have to keep RECONNECTING the sucka and starting over again... This is how my life goes...

Aunt Esmo- "Don't smoke upstairs!! I don't know how many times I have to warn you guys I will ground you!"

Ana and AJ casually look at each other - "Yeah..."

And the first thing that happens when AJ and Ana go upstairs is they smoke a bowl...

The second thing is they smoke a cigarette...

Everyday, it's the same thing. My throat is bleeding right now because of inhalation... Everyday I wake up, go to school, come home, get a snack, pass out, watch CSI, eat dinner, go upstairs, smoke a bowl, smoke a bowl, smoke a bowl, smoke a cigarette, smoke a bowl, smoke a bowl, smoke a bowl, smoke a bowl, smoke a cigarette, walk downstairs and sneak food at 2:00 am, pass out, wake up, go to school... etc...

And today... Well Sunday AJ and I got high and I was up until 3 am and I got up at 7 am for school... Then I was up ALL day Monday and Allen came over and we rented movies and got high and I passed out at 1 am.... On Tuesday I was sick as shit at school and slept from 10:45 am until 2:45 pm in school in the darkroon, then I came home and fell asleep at 6:30 pm and woke up today at 3:00pm... And it is now 11:30 and I am up without intent of passing out anytime soon, so what am I going to do to pass the time? You're right kids, you get a gold star on your charts, SMOKE POT!!! I'm such a loser fuck... Goddamnit, I suck...

Today, when AJ was passed out, I did a bunch of those fucking surveys because I'm such a loser I have nothing better to do... I want that 5000 question survey, if any of you have it you should probably send it to me...

Well my internet is being a piece of bitch (Vito, that one was for you) so I couldn't put the quizzes in... I will next time, I promise you this... YOU WILL read meaningless nonsense abobut my life for no reason whatsoever. . .

Hmm... My boyfriend will be in prison until January when he will go up before the parole board to see if he can get paroled or not... If SO, he'll be out with stipulations then... If NOT, then they'll probably hold him for 14 more months after then and I will be 20 by the time he gets out... He's been in for longer than I have seen him out... It's terrible and I would love to listen to everyone when they say "Yeah, that's when I would say, 'you know I love you but this isn't working out right now and maybe if I am single when you get out we can get back together'" but everytime I think of leaving him I get a sick feeling right below my ribs, at the top of my stomach.... An awful cramp... I have NO idea what it is that he has done to me but I know that NO ONE has had this effect on my life... It's really fucked up...

Okay, enough of my love babbling... I've been hanging out with my friends from many moons ago recently. I've been hanging out with Danielle and Dustin and Darryl and Dan and Dale and Mattywags BronoBrownKid and Benton... It's weird how shit happens, ain't it? You know there was that one group of kids that you hung out with in high school, right at the beginning when you first get into high school and you leave with a completely different bunch of friends? Well shit's worked out weird for me and I went right back to those same friends... I always go back... It's like I met a HOOJ group of soulmates all at one time, in one area... And it's weird to think that it's that way, but I swear it is... I dig my friends...

I miss Nikki... She IS my soulmate for sure for sure... I miss her terribly and I wish I had the time to call her... I know that from my above post you've probably gathered that I'm a piece of shit but I really do do alot now being that I leave high school forever in 13 school days... I have senior project... Getting a bunch of Art projects in so I can pass with a decent grade... This fucking play that we'redoing... My fucking speech has to be memorized... I have to learn to play the guitar by the 17th... 6 days from now... I have to WRITE a speech by the 17th... I have to have my portfolios in and I don't even have them started... WOwsa, I may not have to worry about graduation being that I'm NOT going to graduate by slacking the way I am... ANywyas, I'm babbling again... I miss Nikki... I miss Billy and Deb and Kaylin and Syndi andeven Terry... I miss being at Nikki's house at 9:00 am and waking up around mike's bottles and smoking pot all day and watching movies and making play-doh dinosaurs and having parties and humping things and taking silly pictures and hanging out at aarons and being pissed off at dale and dan for being douchebags... I MISS YOU SO EFFING MUCH NIKKI!!! I'm going to cry if I neverhear from you again being that YOU DON'T UPDATE MUCH... Silly head...

Anyways, I have got to go I'm freezing and my back hurts. And by the way... The internet disconnected 4 times... For the record... <3bananastasia<3

Surveys:

Super Long SurveyCollapse )

 

Etcetera SurveyCollapse )
</strong>



Current Mood: high
Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
8:17 pm
Why why why?

Why does this type of thing always happen to me.

I sent my boyfriend a letter in prison on Monday. I got it back today saying it required 23 more cents postage. 23 fucking cents. Now I've got to get a new fucking envelope, re-write the addresses and get 2 new stamps so I can mail this motherfucker out... The fucking United States Postal Service is fucking me out of 37 cents right now... Not even like I care except that was my last stamp and I don't have a ride into town to get stamps... And his twenty dollars is in there too... Fuckin' pricks...

Also, There are a plethora of other meaningful and outrageous things happening in my life as of this second but I'm too shy to talk about all of them...

Oh yeah, Katie. Fuck you... Fuck you for going and not telling me, fuck you for asking me to go in the first fucking place if neither of the two of you wanted me to, fuck you for telling me a different story than you told AJ and Tim... Allow me to reiterate...

Fuck you and your utter fucking selfishness and ridiculousness.

Moving on, my house is a fucking disaster area and I'm about dying of a heat stroke, I slept through the rain (which depresses me ever so much... I love rain), and I have to get up for school tomorrow... So I suppose I'll let you all go...

Tata

<3bananastasia<3

Current Mood: hot
Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
4:58 am
My own fucking family...
My cousin just threw me out of his room and threatened to punch me in the face...

I'll fucking kill him...

And now my aunt is standing up for him...

I've got to get the fuck outta here. I'm not going to stay here and feel as though my life is threatened or as though I'm going to walk across the hall with a gun and blow his fucking brains out. I would love nothing more than to end his pitiful existence right now. I'm going to get the fuck out of here like right now... I need to go somewhere.

Ana
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
10:20 pm
WOOT
I've even been told by family that I would look like her if I was skinnier...

Hey, I never accused my family of being a good one...


You Are Pink!


Tough. Sexy. Tough. Soulful. Tough.
Guys are both attracted and scared of you.
"I've been the girl with her skirt pulled high
Been the outcast never running with mascara eyes"





Who's Your Inner Rock Chick? Take This Quiz :-)




Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.





You want to know another weird thing? I went from a complete computer NIMROD to being able to read this HTML code for this quiz and understand what it's saying and doing... And what each part does and... I'm a friggin' geni-ass

<3anastasia<3
10:08 pm
Oh, the irony...
Now, to those of you that go to school with me (ie Joe and Niki), you would understand the utter irony in the tarot card that I am... Niki especially... And especially on today...

I think that this is a sign from the powers that be...





You are Death.


This means that you are always changing.

Your hair, clothes, lovers.

You are very hard to please, in and out of the bedroom.



What Tarot Card Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva


You see? You see what I mean? For pete's sakes... What the fuck have I done to qualify as death? I always say too, "I feel like gift-wrapped death." That's like, my super-dee-dooper favoritest thing to say when someone says "What's up?" as if they really care... And then Niki, you had to go and figure out my secret... You shall be the first to go...

Hehehe...

I called Steven today... I'm anticipating what he's got up his sleeve...

Also, I have recently found out that my boyfriend might possibly be in prison for a year... I'm uber-sad... Number one, I love him dearly and cannot afford to lose him for that long... Number B, what the fuck kind of sex life is that?... Number Tres, I'm going to have a guilty conscience forever because I'm going to cheat on him and have sex with someone that can give it to me... I just know this...

Also in recent events, my ex-boyfriend, whom I've typed of many a time tried to get me back on Saturday night/Sunday morning and I reluctantly but intelligently turned his offer down... He then gave me a keychain that says "Make Someone Happy... Be QUIET!" I should have shot him when I had the chance... Many of my friends since then have said "You had the chance to get back with him and you turned it down? I woulda done it" Which is no help to my self-esteem whatsoever but, oh well... I did what I had to do, I love him... But I'm IN love with my boyfriend... Nuff said...

Talent show is on Thursday and Debbie and I WILL win... I hope.. I'm singing "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones and Debra is accompanying me on the piano. We sound fantastic and I cannot wait to see the reaction from the crowd... I'm totally gonna work the stage like a real star, because in some sick fantasy-land... I am a real star...

Damn the bipolar disorder...

Well, I shalt chat with thou laters...

Keep on keepin' on!

<3anastasia<3

Current Mood: anxious
Sunday, March 20th, 2005
8:32 pm
What life must be like for "Trevor the Littlest Piggie Dumbass"

This entry might not validate me whatsoever... It might not validate my existance... It might not make a very good point for me because I AM bipolar, as all of you know, and that is quite apparent from what happens in this conversation...

Background info: Trevor was my boyfriend... I guess that would make him my ex-boyfriend... and he's pretty much as fucking strange as they come... One time we went into Kortnie's house for the night and turned on the light and he was standing in the kitchen just like, staring at us... He's fucking strange but he's got a lot of problems... I imagine that he's probably crying right now, god knows I was... Not solely because of him... He was the frosting...

Also, thank god for my aunt Tina because she helped me out through this too...

 

Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: amused

4:38 pm
Silly Rabbit...
I'm fucking bored as shit right now... My cousin and I are sitting here contemplating what the fuck to do in this beautiful little village of ours...

We've come up with:

1.) Eat egg salad sandwiches...

and that's about it...

So, this was a great weekend... I actually had fun for a change. Friday... Katie and Danielle and I attempted at making brownies and cookies... It didn't work out so well for us.. Each time something was burnt, by no fault of ours. One time, some dick put the over on five hundred degrees.

That's AWESOME...

Then we went to the grocery store to buy peanut butter for our peanut butter cookies. We played with the bouncy balls in the aisles and had some lady (whom none of us know) watch us and laugh hysterically... Then, my obsessive compulsive disorder kicked my ass and I saw muellers thin spaghetti noodles next to spartan elbow macaroni (those are the only two details I have remembered of this weekend)and returned the noodles to their rightful aisle... Until Dani and Kath decided that it would be hilarious and tortuous of them to take EVERYTHING and switch it up... Then we played soccer with a box of Lasagne (spelled how it was on the box) noodles... When in the checkout lane, there were two "cowboys" in front of us with two cases of bud light and both had just cashed their checks... We made conversation BEFORE we figured out they were cashing their checks. The one, more "eccentric" cowboy (probably an oxymoron)mentioned something about having someone to buy flowers for and stared at me with a half cocked cmirk and a gleam in his eye... THEN Tanya shelled out the 753 dollars remaining of the mans check... "You should give US some of that money... we're so goddamn poor we can't even pay 2 bucks for a jar of GOOD peanut butter!" upon which he mentioned something about a party at his house and us "ladies" should come out...

CHA CHING!!

we didn't go. But, it was cool that we got invited. Friday night we got all sorts of fucked up and attempted at watching Pauly Shore is Dead... that didn't go too well, either. I crawled into my bed with Steve at about... 10:00 am. When my aunt asked me and Steven to come downstairs and make egg salad sandwiches... I said "Fuck that noise, dude... I'm sleeping" and slept until three... Went to Bradley's benefit, which did spectacular for those of you that were there and wondering how it went I'm SURE we made over 5 grand on the AUCTION... Not that anyone told me, I am just guessing... Saturday I made a duct tape wallet that is the WHIP and Kath and I are making an industry of it... Making and selling duct tape apparel and accesories... We came home, got fucked up... Got ERICA fucked up... Katie came to the house and fell and blacked her eye somehow... And... I went to bed at about six something this morning after watching Pauly Shore is Dead and drinking another beer and a HUGE white russian after everyone went to sleep... Smoked a cigarette. Woke up at eleven and ate egg salad sandwiches... And that's ALL...

I am in quite the predicament here... I have a boyfriend whom I love dearly and care very much for... But I'm not sure how MUCH... I have this friend who is a guy who is fucking sexy as balls and sweet as pie and so much fun to be around and caring and... I love him. I love the kid with all of my heart. My boyfriend is in prison at no fault of mine and I don't know if I can wait for him... Or if I should... I don't even know anymore... But I don't think "he" likes me like that... I don't know, I could be wrong... But I don't want to make an ass out of myself by asking him... I think I should just tell him but I don't want to ruin our friendship... And I don't want to feel guilty for the rest of my life for second-guessing my relationship...

I'm seventeen fucking years old and I feel like I'm 25... I do EVERYTHING... I do the dishes and the laundry and clean up after my cousins and after my aunt and uncle and my fucking cousins parties and... It gets tiring being the only person with the initiative to not be slovenly and fucking live like a human instead of a fucking hog. It sucks to know that I might be failing my senior year of high school but my "family" is giving such a fucking hard time about the way the house looks... Like everything is my fault. The other night, my back hurt from standing and making cookies and shit practically all by myself and my uncle Stuart dared to say something to the effect of "You have so much shit wrong with you and you can blame that on your parents..." First off, he's not my blood... He doesn't even know ANYTHING about my mom, he doesn't know shit about my dad, and he sure as fuck doesn't know the first goddamn thing about me... Now, my dad is an abusive prick, yeah. My mom is a bipolar manic depressive schizoid freak, yeah... I picked up my moms mental disorders and learned my dads abusiveness but am too afraid to abuse anyone else so I constantly abuse myself... I take way too many pills at night hoping I don't wake up in the morning... Or at all for that matter... I bite my tongue more often than I speak because I get so goddamn irritated at my cousins fat lazy ass and his "I know everything" conversation and his fucking annoying-ness or irritated at my aunts expecting me to do everything like I'm fucking Cinderella... Like I don't buy my own prescriptions, like I don't pay my own phone bill... AJ doesn't do shit... Not a goddamn fucking thing except eat, drink (alcohol more often than not, the fucking loser), bitch, brag, boast, shit, piss, sleep, and watch cartoons... That may seem like a long list, but it's a long list of bullshit. He gets a 200 some dollar check every month and blows it in two weeks on booze and beer... I'm lucky if I have six fucking dollars in a month and end up having to buy my depression medication prescription or my fucking stomach medicine or my fucking migraine medicine... I pay my own phone bills, he has a cell phone with over 100 dollars in bills a month and doesn't pay not one red cent to it... The lazy fucking prick. He goes to school two days out of the week, the rest of the time he sleeps until he has to come get me from school. He won't take me anywhere when he smokes out of MY fucking bowl when he takes MY pain pills when he takes MY sedatives... he's a stingy greedy spoiled rotten little bitch and I would love nothing more than to beat the living shit out of him and show him what life is like... 150,000 dollars he got from his "my-daddy-died" check... And it's gone... He drives a HUGE fucking Expedition with a stereo system (that he doesn't know how to tweak correctly, he thinks the bass needs to be up ALL the way ALL the time and the treble halfway... imbecile), and a case of beer in the passenger seat always... He's a piece of dick... Granted, I smoke his cigarettes... Granted, I drink beer and liquor that he usually pays for... But so does everyone else... And at least I can say that I clean his fucking room (because his mom makes me) and that I do his dirty fucking dishes (because his mom makes me) and I clean up after his mess in the living room and in the kitchen and in the computer room (because his mom makes me) and I've had it up to my goddamn eyeballs with all the fucking bullshit...

I need to smoke a cigarette and take something... And do the dishes and give Matt Jordan his gun... Because AJ is on the phone eating god knows what and watching cartoons... Probably talking about drinking alcoholic beverages tonight because he's such a fucking LOSER.

God, I'm fucking irate...

Have a nice day and sorry about all my mindless bitching,
<3anastasia<3

Current Mood: irate
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
9:03 pm
Today I think I'll be Hardcore...
So... I'm failing senior project my boyfriend is in prison and I won't hear from him until the 28th of March if I'm lucky... He's in Jackson County... I'm... Not close to there... I hate school. I'm bipolar and need medicine for my moodswings otherwise I'm gonna kill someone or myself... I'm not in Forensics anymore because Mrs. Haas was being a fucking bitch today... I hate people in my school, I hate teachers in my school... I hate NOT being fucked up... My aunt won't even let me take fucking IBUPROFEN anymore because she thinks I'm trying to OD and die from it... Which would be outstanding...

I just really hate everything about now...

And I also just found out that I'm not going to New York for Spring Break. Tickets are 600 bucks according to mommy and she can't afford it. I decided she can't afford it... She's got too much shit... She wants to just give me cash and I don't even want that from her... She's got bills to pay and shit... Yeah, I could use the help, but she could use it WAY more...

I smoke too much... Everything.

I just got done babysitting Nathan and MaKenna who are two of THE cutest children I've ever seen and they're complete angels and probably the only thing keeping me alive right now... Well, there's alot keeping me alive right now...

Ergh... I need to smoke... I need some fucking Ice Water... I need to watch a movie I HAVEN'T seen a billion times... I need to take some fucking pain pills because my goddamn wrist hurts and most of all, I think I need some aderol.

Ah, the beauties of being a grown woman trapped in a teenage world...

<3ana<3

Current Mood: angry
Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
11:24 pm
me likes to go down to the church...
and drinks them holy water...

okay, so i <3 msi... i'm going to see them in april or something...

i sprained my wrist so my typing is dabilitated or something and my effing arm hurts like mad...

also, i miss my boyfriend more than words can express...

have fun kids...

keep on keepin' on...

bananastasia

Current Mood: apathetic
Monday, February 21st, 2005
8:07 am
No brains...No headache...
Wow,I've actually updated three times this weekend... Which is spectacular because I probably won't be able to update again for six g-d months... I have a new life saying.... See my subject... Well, I was online on chats again... And had the displeasure of meeting one of THE biggest internet assholes I've ever met... Well, read...

He copied and pasted my little Neopunk fascism tantrum and at the end it says "there's a war going on" and he said "yeah, a war with her nose and the barriers of physical proportion" or some rude shit like that... At first I got upset... and then I realized that I was about to argue... with a fictional creature... via internet... because I'm sexier than he is... I mean, come on, seriously!! Anyone who has enough gall to say something like that must closely resemble the comic book dealer off the Simpsons and have a serious disregard for his own health and well-being. I mean, I'm sexy! I don't need to tell people that they have large noses for me to feel better about myself... I do have a big nose... All the better to smell you with my dear!! Well anyways, on the offchance that anyone is reading this and actually caring, of all things, his screenname was something like princejohnnycash... in a metal chat... and THEN he had the audacity to tell me that Nine Inch Nails sucked... I mean, Johnny Cash... Nine Inch Nails... what a fucking idiot..

Well anyways, rambling about it isn't going to make me feel any less insulted... But there are more important things for me to be worried about.. Like how today is President's Day which means the 4 letters that I have waiting in the mailbox for the mailman will not get sent out until tomorrow... I can't even comprehend why it has been so effing hard for me to get a letter out to that fucker... I would be up at all hours of the night looking for stamps... Not get into town in time to purchase stamps... Not be able to send it out without a stamp... Then I didn't have a fucking envelope... And NOW!!! When I'm actually prepared for the shit to get sent... It's a fucking holiday...

Fuck you too, karma... Fuck you too...

But on the bright side... My school didn't have school today. I have a doctors appointment in GR so I got my homework ahead of time... I am now AHEAD in my web design class... instead of behind like I should be..

also, I just thought I would make it a point to announce that I got class skipper and most unique for mock elections... Class Skipper: along with Paul A. I do believe... and he is class president... i'm his VP... and we got class skipper... It just goes to show the amount of pressure leadership can put on one person... Or that my school is fucking ridiculous and Paul and I are the only two with enough sense and balls to leave when we get the chance... I mean, last time I left school, I got to sit at Main Street Pizza and smoke cigarettes and drink Barq's... Why WOULD I choose going to my oppressive and ignorant school over that? HONESTLY!!!

Also, for anyone that knows me personally... If you ever see me eating anything with LACTOSE... Punch me square between the eyes... My dying memory combined with my recent bout with stomach issues (ultimately ending with my lactose intolerance) equals pain pain pain for Ana... So, every chance you get to "remind" me that I'm lactose intolerant would be a chance well taken...

Um.. I'm sitting in a classroom right now in a little ass chair.. Like the ones for little kids... Typing on this old ass keyboard...

Yeah, I've officially derailed..

Talk to you later...

<3anastasia<3

Current Mood: bitchy
Sunday, February 20th, 2005
8:51 pm
Internet arguing...
Sure, we all know the saying... Unfortunately, I don't care about it... I went into METAL chatrooms last night premeditating my first arguement with some kid that said ACDC was his favorite metal group... Ah, it's so much fun... I was on until quarter to five and my made my friend, Jason, come in and do it with me...

I was talking to this person, chokemetoday, about music and the utter simplicity in ACDC's drumming... Then we continued to talk about Converge and Meshuggah and the Dillinger Escape Plan and the complex drumming that they participate in.... Some other person started talking to me and referred to me as Ana and chokemetoday said "Who's Ana?" and I said "I'm Ana, tard... we've been arguing for a half an hour now and you haven't even made the slightest adjustment to my screenname?" to which he IMed me and told me that he wanted to marry me because he had yet to meet a broad with adequate metal knowledge...

Oh how I love making metal boys' lives....

Jason is upset with me because I have a significant other and a conscience. That's something he's going to have to get over because I love my boyfriend to DEATH and cant' wait until Saturday when I can go see him... Yeah, he's in jail... But for a bullshit reason... I was on the Michigan Offender Search and found him... I started to cry... I miss him so much... I just want to hold him and kiss him and stare into his beautiful blue eyes and run my fingers through his silky brown hair... Ugh, I love love...

Anyways, I should probably get going, I just thought that I would update. I have to do some web design homework...

Keep on keepin' on!!

<3anastasia<3

Current Mood: crappy
Saturday, February 19th, 2005
1:19 am
The Universe Tends to Unfold As It Should...
I sure fucking hope so... So let me give you the 4-1-1 on the latest goings on...

I am in Grand Rapids... Why, you may ask? Because I have a doctors appointment on Monday for my anxiety attacks... Lately I've been suffering from anxiety attacks... And extreme insomnia... So on Monday, they will probably prescribe me to some sleeping aids and some muscle relaxers to take when I have an anxiety attack...

My boyfriend, AJ, is in jail... Until June... He violated his parole by "having contact with an officer of the law". My life is practically nonexistant now. That is causing me a lot of anxiety... I hear from him once a week... When he can call... He is in Mecosta County Jail... and will soon be transferred to the Lake County T.R.V. in Baldwin. He has 75 days at T.R.V. And probably 19 more days in Mecosta... I miss him like the sun misses the flower.. Haha, A Knight's Tale... Great flick.

Last Saturday, my Uncle Brad passed away... His funeral was Thursday... That was a very sad day.

My boyfriend went to jail the 9th of February, my Uncle died the 12th of February... I've been sick with strep throat/pharyngitis for two weeks... Basically, this has not been the best of years thus far... On a more positive note, I have 58 schools days left until my last day of high school forever! Some 96 days until my boyfriend gets out of jail and we can move in together... Some 130 days until I start college... Wow, I need to not be to anxious to get the fuck out of Montabella... That's probably why i have anxiety attacks...

Also, I've been so goddamn sick and tired of being at home, but have nowhere else to go... My Aunt Esmo has me cleaning up messes that aren't mine, but her lazy fat sons, rather... And he gets to sit on his lazy ass in his pajamas and not do a goddamn thing except dig his grave with a spoon and watch cartoons all day long... Just like when he was 7. Today I finally blew right the fuck up about it... My mood has ALSO been out of sorts lately...

I chopped all my hair off and dyed it black... I'm in dire need of a new piercing... I also need a tattoo... But the way my finances are that's not going to be happening anytime soon...

Well... I don't really lead that interesting of a life... I know I tell you all that everytime I have an entry in this... But, it's true..

I can give you this exciting news... I passed all my classes last semester... WOO HOO!!!

Okay... I'm not that enthused about it... I guess I will chat with you all later...

<3ana<3

Current Mood: cranky
Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
4:25 pm
Goo!
Long time no talk... It seems that as soon as I get a computer to write on the goddamn thing breaks down... But now I'm writing on AJ's laptop... Shh, don't tell!! Anyways, there's not a lot going on in my life. I have a semi boyfriend... His name is AJ and he's 25.. I know I know, you guys are probably tripping out about his age but I'm used to these things already!! It's really weird because I was kind of iffy when he and I started because, I don't know why, but I was. But then I came home from a weekend with me and could hardly sleep because he wasn't laying next to me... holding me... I was really weirded out becuase I have NEVER been that way before... It scares me...

I'm afraid of letting my walls down again... I don't want to get hurt.

But he's the same way... and he's so sweet to me and a complete gentleman... I miss him so much... I haven't seen him since Saturday and I can't wait until he calls me today... I long to hear his voice.

I have recently come to grips with an Anarchist style of life. I have fallen out of the "things will change" aspirations and just realized that our republic-democracy will always be fucked. Our country is ultimately a monarchy... with the electoral college, the rich choose which rich person to put into office. I just wish that one time someone REAL would run for candidacy... But I doubt that that will happen in my lifetime until that special day that I run for office... which will also be the day that I give up on my anarchist aspirations... what a sad story, always having to give up on something... :(

I am currently suffering from an insane kidney infection, which scares me given that my bloodline ALSO suffers from insane kidney issues... I just don't want to end up doing at home dialysis when my kidneys decide to fail and get cut out... I don't want to be like half of my family...

I have 89 days until my last day of high school... I don't think any of you could possibly comprehend how much this means to me... I'm even counting down!!

I am flying into New York on March 30th to go stay with Nikki and Aaron (t0aster_strudel and mystery_action) and I cannot WAIT for that either...

I've just recently applied to Mid-Michigan Community College to get my pre-req's out of the way... And I've also applied to Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA so as to get the fuck outta Michigan... Hopefully I get accepted... I'm hoping that I do...

There I go with my hope again.

Um.. I don't really know what else to say, I don't lead that interesting of a life... All I can say is live long and prosper...

Also, in light of my new discovery of THe Church of Euthanasia...

Save the world--Kill Yourself!

haha, how fucking ridiculous...

<3ana<3

Current Mood: awaiting his call...
Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
2:42 pm
UPDATEUPDATEUPDATE
Yo dawgs, what up? Not much here... Sitting in English and I'm getting utterly bored with writing this goddamned summary of Grey Beginnings... It's about the beginning of the earth. It's ri-goddamned-diculous... Well, I met this guy... And he's completely perfect! He's the only guy I've ever liked that is completely sweet... Because though he is completely sweet, he maintains an aura of sarcasm and I can dig it... He's hott... He works... He's not lazy... Aww... He's a cutie... Well, for those of you that know me personally, you need to call me because there is a secret mission going on and I need to talk with some folks...

Also, Joe... We fucking rawk!!!

Anyways, I should probably get going...

<3ana<3

Current Mood: SHOOT ME!!! PLEASE!!!
Thursday, December 9th, 2004
11:57 pm
I'm BAAAACK!!!
Okay... Well anyways... I just thought that I would say Rest in Peace "Dimebag" Darrell...

Moving on... Last Saturday I hung out with this guy named Eric... I used to have THE hugest crush on him but nothing ever came of it because I was a chicken-shit little girl... Well, Saturday night we all hung out (Tammi, Raychel, Chris, Wayner, AJA, AJB, Jeremy, Eric, and I) and AJB ended up telling me that Eric had expressed some like for someone that was hanging out with us and come to find out it was me!!! This kind of shit NEVER happens to me... No one ever likes me back... Wow... However, he hasn't called me yet.. Well, he had AJ call me... And he had some other person call me that I have no idea who it was because he was stuck in Stanwood at some party and wanted AJA and I to come get him... But I was gone... So we didn't get to.. :( And Tuesday Ratu, AJA, Raychel, and I trekked to Big Rapids to pick up Ratu's boyfriend Jake who has recently returned home from Florida... YAY!!! I HEART HIM!!!

Um... I really don't know what else to say right now but I just thought I would update and let you all know that I DIDN'T fall off the face of the earth or anything... Not like you all cared...

Also... I'm getting an apartment!! WAHOO!!! We went and priced furniture today...

OH YEAH!!! I have a great Pizza Hut story to tell... Tonight Aaron N, Heidi H, and I all went to Pizza Hut... Well we had been listening to Survivor when the waitress came up to us and said that they had dropped our pizza so we were waiting for a new one when she returned with the receipt and they had deleted the charge for the pizza since we waited almost an hour for it... Well then these loud college kids came in and changed Survivor to the Apprentice... I was not watching it, I could have cared less... But the other couple in the room and these college kids started fighting with each other... And the lady half of the other couple requested that our meal be free since we had to sit and watch... SCHWEET!!! 4 pink lemonades, 2 root beers, one large order of cinna-stix, and a large stuffed crust pizza with 6 toppings.. ALL FOR FREE!!!

Okay, now I'm outtie... Time for schweepie!!!

<3ana<3

Current Mood: blank
2:41 pm
Holy Fuckings Shitballs
Well hello to all my internet comrades out there!! I haven't updated in SO FUCKING LONG!!! There is a lot that I need to tell you... Did I already tell you guys about Billy? My friend Billy, well, ex-friend Billy, has been saying many a bad thing behind my back. I, being a mature individual, disregard what he says as hogwash and continue living my life. Recently, he has told this girl named Dawn (my friends girlfriend, whom I have never met) a detailed explanation as to how he was going to come into my house and slit my throat. I laughed. Number 1, he does not have the balls and intelligence to slit my throat... Number 2, he would go to fucking jail!!!! I have to go right now, but I hope to see you later...

<3ana<3
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
9:07 am
Terminally Screwed America
I haven't posted in way way way too long... My internet is down at my house. AND my computer is a fucking piece of flaming dog shit... It's election day. I'm only seventeen otherwise I would be out in the hallway standing in line to vote. No way would I give up this opportunity. I would be between a rock and a hard place though. I would be standing in line contemplating who to vote for. I would LOVE to vote for Nader, but that is a vote wasted... Number 1, Nader would NOT get into office. Ever. He'll die before he sees a liberal in office. I'll die before I see a liberal in office. and Number 2, one more vote for Nader is one more vote for Bush almost. Because there is not chance in hell that a Republican would vote for Nader, but some democrats that don't agree with Kerry might go independent vote... Which essentially gives Kerry one less vote, giving Bush more of a chance of winning... Gah, the agonizing pains of the terminally screwed America. Unless Nader gets into office, we'll be screwed. "Terminally Screwed America". Ha, I crack my shit up... Here's the update on my life lately...

I have enormous bruises all over my arms from failed attempts at IV's. There is one on my right forearm where the doctor pierced my vein... The bruise covers at least a quarter of my forearm... It's effing ridiculous. I had to have nuclear medicine tests... It's like an x-ray except they inject radiative dye into MY veins so I radiate as opposed to the machine radiating on me. Then they inject some shit into my veins through the IV catheder that makes my stomach and gall bladder "pulse" but really it sent my stomach and gall bladder into convulsions... It was turbo fucked up...

We're doing these plays in drama class and I'm a paint huffing ghetto girl and a drunken slut whose boyfriend rapes some girl... Wow. That's awesome.

I STILL lack a boyfriend. I have a husband... His name is Benton... We're not relaly married but I've known this kid forever... Given that he's a freshman and I'm a senior, we won't be dating anytime soon... Even though we used to... Which is kind of weird... Don't turn me in for statutory!!! I'm begging you... He's 16... He just failed last year...

I got out of senior project class... I fucking told those bitches what was up. That I was transferring schools if they didn't transfer me to NEXT semester senior project. This gives me plenty more time to get my guitar playing done!!! Yay for Ana!! Woot woot! This also gives me less stress...

I ordered the book Lords of Chaos: The Bloody Rise of Satanic Metal... It's outstanding.. No, I DON'T worship satan... Assholes... Geesh.

I'm auditioning for the lead singer of this band called Groove Tongue. I'll be the oldest member if I do get in. The bassist is 16, the drummer is 15, and get this shit, the guitarist is TWELVE!! He's really fucking good for a twelve year old. He was partying with us on Saturday... He got really stoned I guess then he kept asking me to go refill his cup... Haha, he was trashed. It was funny shit.

Montasmella took second in league for Quiz Bowl... Yeah yeah yeah, yuck it up... I'm on Quiz Bowl... But when you and I apply for the same college and I get in because I was in Quiz Bowl I'll make sure and laugh at you...

Montasmella also got second in our first Language Arts Writing Team Meet by one tenth of a percent. So I came with the fury on our second meet. I will be MVP two years in a row... I'm bound and determined. Our third and final meet is approaching soon and I have to write poetry... *yawn* I'm a Language Arts Writing Team veteran...

I got Colombia for Model U.N. Our resolutions have to be about Wildlife Preservation. I'M A FUCKING COKEHEAD COUNTRY!!! COME ALONG NOW...

I cut all my hair off... It's turbo short, I do the semi-hawk with it and it's "starry night"... That's like black blue... blue black... whatever...

I haven't made out in a LONG LONG LONG TIME... Now taking applications...

<3anastasia<3

Current Mood: anxious
Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
2:37 pm
I hate school...
Another entry chaulk full of tired bitching!! Woo hoo... I sit here updating from my friends computer... In her room... Where she and I slept in until 12:34... 1-2-3-4, weird, eh? Anyways, I feel like a complete and utter waste of skin... I don't regularly attend school and when I do, I leave early... I was supposed to have In School Suspension today, but I didn't serve it, obviously because I'm home sick.. My mom says it's my medicine... I say I need more medicine. I just think that I should do HomeBound, get my homework from school, graduate FROM my school... But not have to go. Just sit at home and do my shit. I seriously can't even find enough motivation to pull myself out of bed somedays. I would just rather sit at home and sleep in until twelve and watch movies and smoke cigarettes and do my laundry and work on the farm. I've never understood how some people could just drop out of high school in their senior year... Now I'm coming to understand it more. I will NOT drop out. That would have been a waste of the last twelve years of my life but this senior project thing is complete fucking bullshit. Anyone that attends my school will conquer with me... If this one project in your last year of high school is what REALLY decides as to whether or not one graduates, then give it to me when I'm five... If I can either a.) manage to finish it when I'm young than there should be absolutely no reason for me to continue my education, right? It's the ultimate deciding as to whether or not I graduate... or b.) they should give it to you when you're in the 6th grade so you have adequate time to finish it. one semester of class is inadequate time for me to learn how to play the guitar, learn to read sheet music, learn how to play the songs of my choice, learn how to sing AND play simulataneously, get a 6-8 page wors cited paper written, make my presentation, prove that I can do all these things, and get at least a B on it in eighteen weeks. Not possible. Sure, people have done it, but those people are not me. I have too much stress in my life and too much put on my shoulders. Katey and I have been exploring transferring to Mt. Pleasant High School Alternative Education Center. We can go to school for 8 hours two days of the week and get jobs. Then we can graduate with diplomas from Mt. Pleasant High School and walk at Mt. Pleasant's graduation. I seriously cannot maintain a personal life and school at the same time. Also, my friend Jason has just informed me that whatever it is that I want out of him serves no purpose because he thinks I'm just a child and I don't know anything. What a jerkhole! It's okay because I still love him... Anyways, Greg and Billy moved to Florida and I'm vewwy vewwy sad... Talk to you all later or something and I thought that I would tell you that inhaleabattle is my new best friend because he thinks that I have pretty lips... :D <3anastasia<3

Current Mood: lonely
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